Third Rocket Jump

[unlessitsafarm]

...


No, I'm pretty sure this is NOT Germany.

WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PROVISIONS?

It's a Nazi plot, I'm sure! They've found me out!

WELL THEY'D BETTER COME EXPECTING HELL! I'LL TAKE THEM ALL DOWN WITH A SHOVEL IF I HAVE TO! THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THIS SOLDIER ALIVE!

[[ ... you can pretty much guess here. ]]

Comments

[moelenkaya.livejournal.com]

This is Germany?!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... Ma'am, I do believe I just said this IS NOT Germany.

Must be one of them other tiny European countries with the hard to pronounce names.

[moelenkaya.livejournal.com]

You mean we're not in Russia, either?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Well it's snowing! Maybe we are?

[moelenkaya.livejournal.com]

Probably! It was snowing when I woke up this morning!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

I'm not prepared for winter combat, damnit!

[moelenkaya.livejournal.com]

Combat?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

You blessed ignorant child we are at WAR!!

[moelenkaya.livejournal.com]

I know about that! A little! But all the fighting's far away!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

It won't be much longer! We need to prepare!

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[[Oh my god she's gonna die and before graduating from high school even.]]

Aaa!

[[Ever see in movies where the girl is dumb and then just kinda falls on her butt because her legs gave out? Yeah that's what just happened, partially because seventeen year old Nana was on a starvation diet and partially because you're one scary dude.]]

((ooc: Yeah the only difference here is she's a teenager. Guess what? She hasn't changed much so her actions are... well the same random derp they ever were.))

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

A jap...

Don't you worry ma'am, I've got this thing under control. You should make your escape while I hold them off!

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[[Sorry, she's just going to sit here. Her legs won't work.]]

I don't see anything to escape from.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

THE NAZIS, WOMAN!

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

... I don't think there are any here.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

And how do you know that?

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[blinks]

We learned about that in history class?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Well this isn't history, ma'am. If you'll pardon my french, it's right FUCKING now. So you can either take cover and make my job a little easier, or you can put us both in danger by standing out here in the middle of a god forsaken battlefield!

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

But this isn't a battlefield. It looks like a normal house.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

AND DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER THAN I DO WHAT A GODDAMNED BATTLEFIELD LOOKS LIKE?

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

But the only people here are us.

[She's just going to shrink back now. Why are you so scary?]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Just stand aside and let me do my damn JOB, ma'am.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[But that would require getting up and her legs won't let her. Too bad.]]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... I need brick, mortar, and barbed wire...

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[[If that fence is still there when this is over she's going to have some words to say to you buster.]]

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

[WHOA you are tall and loud and huge and did she mention big?

She'll just stare a you from a behind a tree. The priest told her giants weren't real, but wooooow you're a big man]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

-BRB building a defensive perimeter around my house.-

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

[Woooow, that's a fancy wall! Maybe if she rebuilt Schloss Vaduz like that, he won't be able to sack it again...]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

-Brick and mortar is the way to go, girly. And barbed wire.-

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

[Oohh, what is that? Totally going to get a close-up look at it, because she needs to build new walls, anyway!]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Whoa there, little ma'am, this is NOT a place for children.

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

!!

[ohshit CAUGHT Now do we run back to the bushes or just freeze there in place, hmmm. Freezing in place is a good way to gain a few seconds to think things through]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... Well shit. Must have scared her off.

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

Please don't eat me

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Little Miss, I need MREs and water rations before I turn to shit like cannibalism.

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

[Blank stare.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... I'm not going to eat you.

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's good.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

What's your name, little miss?

[kleinefurstin.livejournal.com]

Vaduz

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Cute name for a foreigner!