First Rocket Jump

[unlessitsafarm]

-The voice that comes over the phone is not happy. In fact, it is the epitome of angry.-

MEDIC! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZING HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY COFFEE, YOU SICK NAZI SON OF A BITCH!

...


... Mashed potatoes are good, though.



WHY AM I MARRIED TO A JAP? WITH A JAP SON?


... Turkey ain't bad either...


I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM ON THE DOUBLE! AND THEY'D BETTER BE GOOD OR SO HELP ME GOD'S GREATEST NATION WILL COME DOWN ON YOU LIKE TEN KINDS OF SPECIAL HELL, YOU SORRY SACKS OF MAGGOT PISS!

Comments

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Not bad, maggot. Not bad.

You got a name?

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

"Hunter" Allan. Either name works.

And to whom do I owe this "pleasantness" to?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

On the battlefield I come from, names are superfluous! Therefore you can just call me "The Soldier".

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

...Wait a sec, you're one of those guys from RED, aren't you?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... Am I talking to a BLU?

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

Nah. I know Pyro, knew Spy, and talked to Heavy once or twice.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Do you consider yourself a stalwart ally of Reliable Excavation & Demolition, all of its subsidiaries, and the American Way?

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

I like to tear shit apart, and America's pretty cool.

Sure, why not? I guess I do consider myself as such.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Then by the power invested in me by the Upper Management of Reliable Excavation and Demolition, its subsidiaries, and... nothing else, really, you are hereby accepted as an interim member of Team RED.

Welcome to the force, Hunter.

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

Aaawesome.

But do I have to get an outfit? Mine's bloodstained red enough as it is.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

You don't have a UNIFORM!? Son I'd better see you wearing red proper or there will be HELL to pay!

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

...Okaaay.

Where do I get one?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to tell me that red clothing is in some kind of shortage?

GO TO THE STORE, YOU IGNORANT LITTLE HORSE SHIT!

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

Fine, fine. I'll go to the store. Jesus.