First Rocket Jump

[unlessitsafarm]

-The voice that comes over the phone is not happy. In fact, it is the epitome of angry.-

MEDIC! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZING HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY COFFEE, YOU SICK NAZI SON OF A BITCH!

...


... Mashed potatoes are good, though.



WHY AM I MARRIED TO A JAP? WITH A JAP SON?


... Turkey ain't bad either...


I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM ON THE DOUBLE! AND THEY'D BETTER BE GOOD OR SO HELP ME GOD'S GREATEST NATION WILL COME DOWN ON YOU LIKE TEN KINDS OF SPECIAL HELL, YOU SORRY SACKS OF MAGGOT PISS!

Comments

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[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

*oh fucking hell, what timing*

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

Soldier.

... You're the last voice I expected to hear.

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

...

Oh please tell me you aren't this place's incarnation of a weapons master with black armor...

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Pyro?! What in God's Great Name is going on in this hell?

... AND WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR MASK?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Boy you had better start making sense before I put a size 12 boot in your ass shined and ready!

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, you actually recognized my voice.

...

I'm not wearing it so people can understand me, for once. I do have it, though.

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

... Just... tell me your name isn't... Ironhide. Please.

[inb4gar.livejournal.com]

[Oh god already getting a headache from this.]

What is this guy's problem? I can already tell I'm not going to like this at all.

You must be the new head of household... I suppose it's better than having a drone person taking the 'father' role.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Unlike Shirou, who seems to be taking this at least calmly. Nana's absolutely terrified and may or may not be lurking back away from the dining room altogether. He was big and loud, which was scary enough but the fact that he was apparently offended by her very presence was just the icing on the cake to speak.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE I DO! Don't you think I trained for this sort of bullshit in the way? Now explain to me what in the unholy pit of hell is going on here!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... Are you coming on to me? Are you some kind of floppy wrist faggot?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

DO NOT LOOK AT ME! I DID NOT ASK YOU A QUESTION!

... or wait, maybe I did...

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

Well. You're stuck in a town called Mayfield. You probably noticed the drones...don't do anything too crazy around them. Trust me on this. The town loops. I'm sure you noticed all of your stuff's gone, too. You can get it back...eventually.

Demoman, Scout, Heavy, and Engineer are all here, too.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Oh did I scare you, miss?

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

... I have no idea what you're asking me.

... I don't think she can form words right now.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[He asked that? He's the one who had to just magically appear in her nice quiet home and make things all weird and stuff! She'd liked how things were just Shirou, the drones, and herself. Then he had to come and change everything just like that! To make it worse he goes around yelling really, really loud and saying mean things and then has the gal to ask if he's scared her?]

[All you're going to get is a nervous squeak out of this one, she's practically vibrating with terror. What did you expect? Can you not watch your manners when there is a sensitive young woman around?]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

I haven't noticed a god damned thing! I'm stuck in a room with Tom Turkey!

AND JAPS!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

THE QUALITY OF METAL WHICH MY HIDE CONSISTS OF IS NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS, YOU QUEER-EYE BASTARD!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Erm... maybe shock and awe ain't such a great approach with the women folk...

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

... It's just a name.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

A name? A NAME?

NAMES ON THE BATTLEFIELD DON'T MAKE YOU SOUND LIKE YOU TWIDDLE DICKS, SON!

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

What? I don't... are you certain you're speaking English or...?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Of course it's not english! I SPEAK AMERICAN!

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

... Oh forget it, this is useless.

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

...Oh, yeah, the town is probably to blame for us being stuck. I think they expect us to sit down and have a "nice" Thanksgiving or some shit.

You aren't listening to me, are you?