First Rocket Jump

[unlessitsafarm]

-The voice that comes over the phone is not happy. In fact, it is the epitome of angry.-

MEDIC! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZING HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY COFFEE, YOU SICK NAZI SON OF A BITCH!

...


... Mashed potatoes are good, though.



WHY AM I MARRIED TO A JAP? WITH A JAP SON?


... Turkey ain't bad either...


I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM ON THE DOUBLE! AND THEY'D BETTER BE GOOD OR SO HELP ME GOD'S GREATEST NATION WILL COME DOWN ON YOU LIKE TEN KINDS OF SPECIAL HELL, YOU SORRY SACKS OF MAGGOT PISS!

Comments

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

My GOD, Private Twinkletits, do you know how to form a sentence without attaching a god forsaken swear word to it? That isn't insulting it's schoolyard pick-yer-nose-ing!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

You have obviously never met a proper spy.

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

My good sir, while I may be swearing now, you're miserable, ignorant, stupid, wretched, and unlovable by even a mother. And later, I'll be using a cussless vocabulary.

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

I...don't think that'll help.

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[That's all right. The alternative of having him continue to yell over the phones compels her to at least try.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

No no, close but no cigar.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Eyes him, eyes the turkey]

Well we'll have to find out then.

[Grabs a knife and starts to neatly slice it in half, see no turkey spies here.]

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

Except you're an ugly maggot-infested dog and nobody will ever like you because you suck.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Well has anything ELSE worked?

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

... No.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

-There's an audible sound of him licking his fingers and making affirmative sounds. That was some good turkey.-

Now... what were you saying, ma'am?

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose that answers my first question.

Is there anything you'd like to know that I might be able to answer?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

-He's still giving it the eye.-

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

THERE YOU GO, PRIVATE PRINCESS CHEEKS! Now you're insulting like a TRUE man!

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

...Princess cheeks? As opposed to what? Prince butt?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY!

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Where can I get some barbed wire?

superlate post is GO

[ra-ra-razputin.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess I can't fault you for that. You're trapped here like everybody else. Whoever's in charge here just keeps us in this weird town and does weird stuff to us all the time, like... lock everyone in kitchens, apparently.

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

You're going to try it whether or not I say it's a good idea.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Would you PREFER to be a prince's butt?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Son, do you expect me to believe a word of what you just said?

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

I'd prefer to not be anyone's butt, actually.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

It doesn't have to be a good idea if it's the only one.

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

... Your logic astounds me sometimes.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Not bad, maggot. Not bad.

You got a name?