First Rocket Jump

[unlessitsafarm]

-The voice that comes over the phone is not happy. In fact, it is the epitome of angry.-

MEDIC! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZING HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY COFFEE, YOU SICK NAZI SON OF A BITCH!

...


... Mashed potatoes are good, though.



WHY AM I MARRIED TO A JAP? WITH A JAP SON?


... Turkey ain't bad either...


I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM ON THE DOUBLE! AND THEY'D BETTER BE GOOD OR SO HELP ME GOD'S GREATEST NATION WILL COME DOWN ON YOU LIKE TEN KINDS OF SPECIAL HELL, YOU SORRY SACKS OF MAGGOT PISS!

Comments

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Oh did I scare you, miss?

... I don't think she can form words right now.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[He asked that? He's the one who had to just magically appear in her nice quiet home and make things all weird and stuff! She'd liked how things were just Shirou, the drones, and herself. Then he had to come and change everything just like that! To make it worse he goes around yelling really, really loud and saying mean things and then has the gal to ask if he's scared her?]

[All you're going to get is a nervous squeak out of this one, she's practically vibrating with terror. What did you expect? Can you not watch your manners when there is a sensitive young woman around?]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Erm... maybe shock and awe ain't such a great approach with the women folk...

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Shock and awe? This is shock and horror.]

[She's not comfortable with your presence so she's going to scoot back now, hoping you'll get distracted by something else. Isn't this obviously the start of a beautiful relationship? She won't, or can't, even talk to you, Mr. May.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

-... Welp. Might as well sit down and eat.-

1/2

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Hey, so you mean he's not going to do something mean?]

2/2

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[In that case, she's going to creep over the table and get something to eat because she's actually kind of hungry and it looks pretty good too.]

[Just don't do that yelling stuff again just yet, okay?]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... Did you cook this? I ask because there's a lack of rice and I know how you Japs are.

-... Smooth, Soldier. Real smooth.-

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Have a pause as her skin looses all color before she shrinks back into her seat. How to tell him that she somehow couldn't remember how to cook at all? She'd been so good at it too!]

N...No I didn't. The city seems to have given this all to us for the holiday.

[Hey! She knew how to cook hamburgers just like in America...doesn't that count?]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

...

-He suddenly stares at the turkey like it's about to whip out a butterfly knife and kill them all.-

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[She actually has enough nerves left to giggle at that.]

I don't think it's poisoned otherwise we would have noticed by now. So it should be perfectly safe... this time.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

You got a way to spy check a turkey, ma'am?

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[blink, blink]

Spy check?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

This turkey could be a gutless scum sucking spy! It'll kill us all!

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

We've already cut bits off it. I think it would have tried to kill us by now if it was going to.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

You have obviously never met a proper spy.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Eyes him, eyes the turkey]

Well we'll have to find out then.

[Grabs a knife and starts to neatly slice it in half, see no turkey spies here.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

-He's still giving it the eye.-

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

Look, it's in pieces. See? It can't do anything.

[To prove her point she's serving herself some more turkey because suddenly she's starving.]

If anything, if we eat it it'll be gone so there won't be anything to worry about.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Well, when you put it that way...

-He begins eating VERY quickly. You learn to eat fast in times of war, after all.-

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Surprise, surprise. There were already moments where she didn't dislike him so much as normal...like right now. In fact, she's rather having a giggle at your expense, but it's okay she's going to help you eat the spy turkey.]

This is actually pretty good.

[She's not military, never has been, and so of course doesn't eat like one.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Yes, ma'am! Definitely worth the spy check!

-Technically he was never military either. But when you're on the same team as Heavy, well... there you go.-

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

Really, that was half cute in some weird way.]

Oh definitely, it was very worth it.

[She wasn't a big detail person, he acted military and that was more than enough to satisfy her that he was military.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

-Can't talk, too busy stuffing face-

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Ah, blissful quiet for once. Maybe this was the secret, keep him eating and he can't yell. She'd remember this for the future.]