Recent Entries

HMD

How's my RPing with this character? Please comment here with any compliments, constructive criticisms, or other concerns/comments.

You can also, alternatively, contact me on AIM at Gonsai Fong

Anonymous enabled, IP logging off, comments screened. Please be courteous with the use of this post.

Relationships

This is the CR post for RED Soldier. If you are not on here and feel you should be, please comment and I'll move that gear up.

( You are, enemy / You are my hated enemy / I am enemy / Number one rated enemy )

Twelth Rocket Jump [DRONE FILTER]

LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THIS MORE THAN ONCE!

If you want to live, get your ass to the hospital.

If you want to fight, get your ass to the hospital.

RED is setting up a Control Point. Either get behind us or risk your house getting sacked. Your call, maggots.

Soldier, out

Eleventh Rocket Jump THE TOURNAMENT

-Soldier stood in full attention on the battlefield. He had left some things at home. Like his shotgun. And his rocket launcher. In fact, all he had on him was that familiar old shovel. His trusted companion since the war. Why had he only taken one open, when he had the option of many? He could have blown Luffy's leg right off had he wanted to with an RPG. Instead, he had chosen his shovel. It was a bold statement...-

Listen up, maggot, because I'm only going to say this once. This challenge is lined up with people who can shoot laser beams and punch out mountains. They have forgotten the meaning of TRUE GRIT. But you and I... we're real men. And we'll settle this like REEEEEEAL MEN!

So you had better pray you've got the guts to fight me like one!!

Tenth Rocket Jump

-Ladies and gentlemen, this is 849 Goldberg Street. And for those of you who are not already familiar with it, THIS is the home of the Soldier.

He is drunk. And so is muffled_noises. And they have pots on their heads.

What are they doing with pots on their heads? They are ramming each other.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is 849 Goldberg Street. And this is not unusual.-

Ninth Rocket Jump

JUST WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS GOING ON NOW?

Someone make me a rib sandwich! I cannot rage on an empty stomach!

Let me tell you a story, Mayfield. A story about MY father! My father was a man who was a righteous pillar of masculine identity! He was strong! Disciplined! Gentle to the women! Firm with the women when they yammered on too long about needing an electric oven! And he taught me a VERY important lesson!

You wanna know what that lesson is, Mayfield?

Spare the rod, spoil the child. Do I LOOK spoiled to you? I most certainly do NOT you pack of worthless mongrels! MAYBE A LITTLE DISCIPLINE SHOULD BE INSERTED INTO WHERE YOUR SPINES SHOULD BE SO YOU DON'T LOSE YOUR GODDAMNED MINDS EVERY TIME SOMETHING HAPPENS IN THIS SHITHOLE LIE OF A TOWN!

AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY RIB SANDWICH!

[[ Be sure to check here and help me make sure I didn't forget anyone, orz ]]

Eighth Rocket Jump

-Ladies and gentlemen of Goldberg Street... A car has just blown up. A literal explosion + fireball.

Why, do you ask? What is the cause of all this ruckus?

Well there are two men, you see. Two men dressed in red. And they are both drunk. And bored. And have deadly weapons.

They are playing dodgeball with rockets.-

HA HAAA! That was a good one! Let's see if we can hit something bigger! Get ready!

[[ Pyro and Soldier are playing the most awesome of TF2 games, DODGEBALL, of course they are playing the Soldier VS Pyro variant. They aren't aiming at each other (except for Soldier's initial firing of a rocket at Pyro in the first place), but rather reflecting rockets into other objects.

They might just hit your house. ]]

Seventh Rocket Jump

LOOK OUT BELOW!!!

-What's that in the sky? Why it's Soldier! What's he doing up there? Well...

He's falling. On you. Or through your roof. Or onto your car.

Look before you rocket leap.-

April Fool's Rocket Jump

UNLESS THIS CALL IS OVER THE SUBJECT OF EXPLOSIVES, HAIR CUTS, AND/OR RIB SANDWICHES, I AM NOT INTERESTED.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME YOU PISS SPEWING SHIT FILLED MAGGOT SCUMBAG!!!

Sixth Rocket Jump

You're all a bunch of gutless shit-filled COWARDS! Are you afraid of the kind of person you are when you kill another human being? Well TOUGH TITTIES, maggots!

This is WAR!

I don't like the idea of innocent people getting pulled into this, but SOME OF US have to stop pretending we're like the rest of these good-for-nothing hippies and realize that we have the cold blood of killers running in our veins! So if you're on that suspect list, you need to own up to the possiblity that you might be just... like... me. That's right. A fucking killer.

I've got enough rounds to take out every single person in this damn town if I have to, and a pick axe with names on it. If that FAT BASTARD wants a hunt, then I'm the best damn HUNTER he's got! You can make my job easy, or you can make it harder, but I know four people who are about to meet their maker.

[[ Kanna, Tiffany, Bonnie, and Sideswipe are the people he personally thinks could be monsters based on what information he has. And you'd better believe he's going head hunting. Of course it's up to you guys if you actually respond to his head hunting. ]]

Fifth Rocket Jump

-The Soldier is getting into the spirit of things! How is he doing so? Well the Demoman is definitely good for some explosives. And the Soldier loves blowing shit up. You might find him shouting a war cry at the top of his lungs while throwing home made bombs under parked cars. He lives for wanton destruction, so this is just a blast for him.-

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE, BOYS! LAST ONE ALIVE, LOCK THE DOOR!

Fourth Rocket Jump

...

Respawn time in this shithole is terrible. God damnit...

HEY DOC, since you're apparently here now, mind telling me what the hell this pickaxe does? It sure as hell isn't normal. I threw away the instruction manual when I got it, so I'm GUESSING you might have some clue.

And give it in English, doc.

Third Rocket Jump

...

No, I'm pretty sure this is NOT Germany.

WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PROVISIONS?

It's a Nazi plot, I'm sure! They've found me out!

WELL THEY'D BETTER COME EXPECTING HELL! I'LL TAKE THEM ALL DOWN WITH A SHOVEL IF I HAVE TO! THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THIS SOLDIER ALIVE!

[[ ... you can pretty much guess here. ]]

Second Rocket Jump

Citizens of Mayfield, it has come to my attention that my household is in need of the services of a domestic specialist. My "wife" is currently incapable of cooking until otherwise noted and I will be damned if I allow her to work at half capacity until this problem is dealt with. THAT is not how a man of character operates! So while my "wife" is on leave, I will be requesting the aid of an private sector laborer.

In short, I need a maid.

I will be interviewing any possible applicants over the phone.

First Rocket Jump

-The voice that comes over the phone is not happy. In fact, it is the epitome of angry.-

MEDIC! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZING HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY COFFEE, YOU SICK NAZI SON OF A BITCH!

...

... Mashed potatoes are good, though.

WHY AM I MARRIED TO A JAP? WITH A JAP SON?

... Turkey ain't bad either...

I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM ON THE DOUBLE! AND THEY'D BETTER BE GOOD OR SO HELP ME GOD'S GREATEST NATION WILL COME DOWN ON YOU LIKE TEN KINDS OF SPECIAL HELL, YOU SORRY SACKS OF MAGGOT PISS!