First Rocket Jump

[unlessitsafarm]

-The voice that comes over the phone is not happy. In fact, it is the epitome of angry.-

MEDIC! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZING HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY COFFEE, YOU SICK NAZI SON OF A BITCH!

...


... Mashed potatoes are good, though.



WHY AM I MARRIED TO A JAP? WITH A JAP SON?


... Turkey ain't bad either...


I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM ON THE DOUBLE! AND THEY'D BETTER BE GOOD OR SO HELP ME GOD'S GREATEST NATION WILL COME DOWN ON YOU LIKE TEN KINDS OF SPECIAL HELL, YOU SORRY SACKS OF MAGGOT PISS!

Comments

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[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

*oh fucking hell, what timing*

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

Soldier.

... You're the last voice I expected to hear.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Pyro?! What in God's Great Name is going on in this hell?

... AND WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR MASK?

[muffled-noises.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, you actually recognized my voice.

...

I'm not wearing it so people can understand me, for once. I do have it, though.

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

...

Oh please tell me you aren't this place's incarnation of a weapons master with black armor...

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Boy you had better start making sense before I put a size 12 boot in your ass shined and ready!

[weaponsparked.livejournal.com]

... Just... tell me your name isn't... Ironhide. Please.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

... Are you coming on to me? Are you some kind of floppy wrist faggot?

[inb4gar.livejournal.com]

[Oh god already getting a headache from this.]

What is this guy's problem? I can already tell I'm not going to like this at all.

You must be the new head of household... I suppose it's better than having a drone person taking the 'father' role.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

DO NOT LOOK AT ME! I DID NOT ASK YOU A QUESTION!

... or wait, maybe I did...

[inb4gar.livejournal.com]

I already don't like this guy... why did it have to be like someone like this? Maybe the drone parent was better off for us.

Yeah, you did. Are you ready to listen now or should I just get ear plugs so you can finish yelling?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Explain to me everything you know, son. And don't fill it with any of your wang chung jap babble.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[Unlike Shirou, who seems to be taking this at least calmly. Nana's absolutely terrified and may or may not be lurking back away from the dining room altogether. He was big and loud, which was scary enough but the fact that he was apparently offended by her very presence was just the icing on the cake to speak.]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Oh did I scare you, miss?

... I don't think she can form words right now.

[yourfaithfulpet.livejournal.com]

[He asked that? He's the one who had to just magically appear in her nice quiet home and make things all weird and stuff! She'd liked how things were just Shirou, the drones, and herself. Then he had to come and change everything just like that! To make it worse he goes around yelling really, really loud and saying mean things and then has the gal to ask if he's scared her?]

[All you're going to get is a nervous squeak out of this one, she's practically vibrating with terror. What did you expect? Can you not watch your manners when there is a sensitive young woman around?]

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

Erm... maybe shock and awe ain't such a great approach with the women folk...

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

You are so looooud.

Shut up.

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

AND YOU HATE AMERICA!

[brbpouncingyou.livejournal.com]

Not really. He's a cool guy.

Or are you referring to the actual country, not the personification?

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Calmed down any?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

DO I SOUND CALM TO YOU?

... Well the turkey did simmer me out a little.

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

It's hard to give information to someone who's yelling and not listening.

[ra-ra-razputin.livejournal.com]

...!

Coach Oleander?

[unless-itsafarm.livejournal.com]

DO I SOUND LIKE YER CHESS COACH, MAGGOT?

[ra-ra-razputin.livejournal.com]

...Chess coach? No, I guess not. You're way angrier.